My marriage is over. Well, all but the shouting.

Spooky_Child wrote:On the bright side at least now you can get Google Chrome...

YES!

Dear #######,

Thank you for your enquiry.

The Username attached to your SmileCity account cannot be changed. This is clearly stated on the website when you first joined.

Please accept our apologies for any inconvenience.

Sincerely,

Ken

SmileCity Member Service Team
SmileCity New Zealand
New Zealand's No. 1 Online Loyalty Program
www.smilecity.co.nz





----- Original Message -----
From: "markslovenz@hotmail.com"
To: SmileCity Enquiry Service Sent:12/05/2010 10:57:15 AM
Subject: Changing username
>
>Hi folks,

I chose my username based on my relationship with my husband. ie: markslovenz = mark's love in nz = mark is my partner/husband and he loves me and we're in nz.

Our marriage is now over. Well, all but the logistics.

It was suggested to me that, if I have a genuine enough reason, you would let me change it. I understand that you have these rules for good reason, but is this reason enough?

I understand if it isn't, but I would REALLY appreciate it. Since I have 10,150 points and 499 exp, I would hate to have to cash out and start all over. I couldn't post again for many weeks. It's still going to take me 2 years to get a blue star with this username.

Pretty please? Nicely? :B I promise to behave and not be too big a nark.

If not, Ok, I understand. If so, I'd love to use 83'Tna.

Thanks guys,

####### :o)

I would have said no as well - way too bum-licky. You need them to understand that you, as the customer, are the boss. People don't repsond well to begging. Try directing. Here, I'll re-write for you

Hi,

I am your customer, and everyone knows the customer is always right. I want to change my username. It is no longer appropriate. I recognise that this may be a bit of work for you, but you do fuck all anyway, so shut your fucking gob, and get on it.

If you can't change it, then it ain't too much hassle. I reckon your site will be dead and gone within 12 months anyway, you fucking losers.

I have 10,150 points and 499 exp, and I can't be fucked starting over. But, I'll probably cash these points out before you go under. I don't care so much about not being able to post as I have heaps of multis anyway.

Please change? Pretty please? Nicely?

If not, Ok, I understand. But you can still fuck off you stupid cunts.


Thanks guys,

####### :o)

Donkeycheese wrote:I would have said no as well - way too bum-licky. You need them to understand that you, as the customer, are the boss. People don't repsond well to begging. Try directing. Here, I'll re-write for you

Hi,

I am your customer, and everyone knows the customer is always right. I want to change my username. It is no longer appropriate. I recognise that this may be a bit of work for you, but you do fuck all anyway, so shut your fucking gob, and get on it.

If you can't change it, then it ain't too much hassle. I reckon your site will be dead and gone within 12 months anyway, you fucking losers.

I have 10,150 points and 499 exp, and I can't be fucked starting over. But, I'll probably cash these points out before you go under. I don't care so much about not being able to post as I have heaps of multis anyway.

Please change? Pretty please? Nicely?

If not, Ok, I understand. But you can still fuck off you stupid cunts.


Thanks guys,

####### :o)

Dear ########

Sorted.


Yours,


Fucking cunts.

That (both DC and Kieran) looks a lot more like what I would (sometimes) like to have put.

Still, I'm stuck with it for now. At least until I figure out a way around it.

Hrmmm - #1 son will be home soon and does not have a membership.......

Do they keep your correspondence? I would guess (hope) not........

Who knew Ken actually replied to emails!

I love Ken.

He's the Asian guy right?

ydekm wrote:Who knew Ken actually replied to emails!

I love Ken.

He's the Asian guy right?

He kind of looks Asian crossed with something to me. I don't like him myself. He always says no to me.

Summoner wrote:Oh well... your choice and if it's what you want good lick.

Muy question is... didn't you only marry the guy a couple of years back?

No biggie... I'm just sure it was you that was getting married then and I understand the 11 year thing...I just, yeah.



Oh as for the keeping it here... I'm sure the ones that actually DO post in here will... the troll that lurks on the other hand...

ahem

Hubby and I had a good talk last night. He finally understands that I don't love him anymore and feel no physical attraction to him. I guess the shouting begins here?

83T'na wrote:Hubby and I had a good talk last night. He finally understands that I don't love him anymore and feel no physical attraction to him. I guess the shouting begins here?

Not always. In my parents case, this was where my dad committed suicide.

I remember your mentioning that when I first joined SC. That's so sad and I'm genuinely sorry you had to go through that.
To be honest, I don't know if this will affect my man the same way, but I can't let that hold me back. He has threatened it in the past and it dragged me back because I didn't want to be responsible for my daughter losing her dad.

But, if he makes the choice that he doesn't want to live without me in his home, it's his choice to make. I have to live my life for me, not someone else. It's a mistake I've repeated all my life.

Thanks for answering my question... that was really nice of you!!!

Remind me to pay you the same service sometime.

Did I miss something? Sorry - I'll go back and have a look.

Summoner wrote:Oh well... your choice and if it's what you want good lick.

Muy question is... didn't you only marry the guy a couple of years back?

No biggie... I'm just sure it was you that was getting married then and I understand the 11 year thing...I just, yeah.



Oh as for the keeping it here... I'm sure the ones that actually DO post in here will... the troll that lurks on the other hand...

Was that it?

Yes, we did only get married a couple of years ago. Jan 12, 2008.
We had been planning it for some time and, at the time, there was no reason to cancel it. Things have really only been bad between us for about a year.

83T'na wrote:Hubby and I had a good talk last night. He finally understands that I don't love him anymore and feel no physical attraction to him. I guess the shouting begins here?

What??? You told US before you told HIM??!!

Is this an example of your great attempts at communication that seem not to be working? Perhaps if you'd given him an honest chance ...

That's not how I read it... but hey dont let it stop you from making her feel worse than she potentially is.

relict wrote:

83T'na wrote:Hubby and I had a good talk last night. He finally understands that I don't love him anymore and feel no physical attraction to him. I guess the shouting begins here?

What??? You told US before you told HIM??!!

Is this an example of your great attempts at communication that seem not to be working? Perhaps if you'd given him an honest chance ...

No, I did not tell you guys first. What do you take me for? Of course I told him first. But, it's taken me this long to get him to understand that there is no going back to what I felt for him in the past.

Just so you know, we did counselling together last year with a view to repairing our relationship. I put everything I had into that and things did improve for a few months. It's just that I have realised I haven't loved him for (what seems like) a long time and it's wrong to go on pretending to him and the rest of the world that I'm happy when I'm not.

83T'na wrote:

relict wrote:

83T'na wrote:Hubby and I had a good talk last night. He finally understands that I don't love him anymore and feel no physical attraction to him. I guess the shouting begins here?

What??? You told US before you told HIM??!!

Is this an example of your great attempts at communication that seem not to be working? Perhaps if you'd given him an honest chance ...

No, I did not tell you guys first. What do you take me for? Of course I told him first. But, it's taken me this long to get him to understand that there is no going back to what I felt for him in the past.

Just so you know, we did counselling together last year with a view to repairing our relationship. I put everything I had into that and things did improve for a few months. It's just that I have realised I haven't loved him for (what seems like) a long time and it's wrong to go on pretending to him and the rest of the world that I'm happy when I'm not.

what? You didn't tell us first? You're leaving him - but we're all still here

What do you take us for? the recipients of second hand news?

Insert something funny here, cos I'm all out

Thanks for making me laugh.
Sorry, gotta run - my pork pieces are burning. Catch you later.

Sweet and Sour Pork with veges and Singapore Noodles for dinner.

83T'na wrote:

relict wrote:

83T'na wrote:Hubby and I had a good talk last night. He finally understands that I don't love him anymore and feel no physical attraction to him. I guess the shouting begins here?

What??? You told US before you told HIM??!!

Is this an example of your great attempts at communication that seem not to be working? Perhaps if you'd given him an honest chance ...

No, I did not tell you guys first. What do you take me for? Of course I told him first. But, it's taken me this long to get him to understand that there is no going back to what I felt for him in the past.

Just so you know, we did counselling together last year with a view to repairing our relationship. I put everything I had into that and things did improve for a few months. It's just that I have realised I haven't loved him for (what seems like) a long time and it's wrong to go on pretending to him and the rest of the world that I'm happy when I'm not.

Yup, I realised there was another way of reading that first statement too.

I believe there is an element of conscious choice with love, rather than it just being a feeling. It's also a foreign concept to me to put a time limit on putting effort into a relationship. Parents tend not to put a time limit on "putting everything they have" into their relationship with their young children, even when things go wrong, and yet we don't choose our children but we choose our partners.

Shame on her then relict. Fancy that, making a decision that you need to change your life to be happy, and then actually doing something about it. Ridiculous.

relict wrote:
I believe there is an element of conscious choice with love, rather than it just being a feeling. It's also a foreign concept to me to put a time limit on putting effort into a relationship. Parents tend not to put a time limit on "putting everything they have" into their relationship with their young children, even when things go wrong, and yet we don't choose our children but we choose our partners.

The dynamic between a person and their children and a person and their partner is vastly different, from an evolutionary standpoint, and I'd wager from a sociological one too.

____ wrote:

relict wrote:
I believe there is an element of conscious choice with love, rather than it just being a feeling. It's also a foreign concept to me to put a time limit on putting effort into a relationship. Parents tend not to put a time limit on "putting everything they have" into their relationship with their young children, even when things go wrong, and yet we don't choose our children but we choose our partners.

The dynamic between a person and their children and a person and their partner is vastly different, from an evolutionary standpoint, and I'd wager from a sociological one too.

I would agree, Kieran. What you've said is incredibly insightful.

While parents do not choose their children, neither do childen choose their parents. Even though parents do choose how to behave towards their children and vice versa, we are still, for the most part, stuck with each other. Whether either loves the other can still be a matter of choice although, sociologically it's not the norm.

Falling in love with a partner is more about chemistry than conscious thought. But that's only ever a starting point. If one loves fishing and would spend every waking free hour doing it and the other wouldn't dream of getting all cold wet and slimy for something you can buy in a supermarket, it's not going to last no matter what the chemistry so conscious thought will kick in at some point.

In our case, it was a matter of fundamental issues not being given a high enough priority by my husband when he knew how important they were to me. Having paid lip service to them for the last 11 years, they have yet to be addressed. To be fair, I was just as guilty as he, only on other issues.

83T'na wrote:

____ wrote:

relict wrote:
I believe there is an element of conscious choice with love, rather than it just being a feeling.

The dynamic between a person and their children and a person and their partner is vastly different, from an evolutionary standpoint, and I'd wager from a sociological one too.

Falling in love with a partner is more about chemistry than conscious thought. But that's only ever a starting point. If one loves fishing and would spend every waking free hour doing it and the other wouldn't dream of getting all cold wet and slimy for something you can buy in a supermarket, it's not going to last no matter what the chemistry so conscious thought will kick in at some point.

Chemistry is a factor, yes. But without feelings being subject to reason / intellect, monogamy would be most rare.

And yes, I agree the dynamic is different with a partner or with a child, but that does't lessen the role of the mind/will - the ability to choose to love.

Love would allow some different hobbies, and some interests not shared, though if someone were to spend every waking moment fishing, there's something else wrong, LOL.

relict wrote:
Love would allow some different hobbies, and some interests not shared, though if someone were to spend every waking moment fishing, there's something else wrong, LOL.

Hell yes.