Empathy (and for title length, 'generation 'me'')

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Generation Me students and empathy

Learn how you compare (quiz - 15Q)

I found Psalter's original post, and michelln's comment very interesting.

I did the quiz in a way that was very hard on myself, to get the worst value I could, and got 48/70 or 68.6% (= lower empathy than 60% of [college] participants)

I got 40. or 56% I think a few days ago.

Quite simply, tender feelings for the less fortunate, no. Tender is the wrong word, often those less fortunate are so because of their own actions.
For those having problems it depends on the problem, if it is through no fault of their own, generally but often no, again, it will generally be through their own actions.
When I see someone being taken advantage of I feel protective of them, YES, strongly.
Other peoples misfortunes do not disturb me a great deal, no, rarely, it takes something big to disturb me.
When I see someone being treated unfairly I don't feel pity for them, disagree, I do.
I am touched by things I see happen... WTF, no.
I would describe my self as a soft-hearted person, no, this is a weakness.
I find it difficult to see it from the other guys point of view, no, it is important to always try see things in perspective.
I try to look at everyone's side before decision... yes.
I sometimes try to understand my friends better by looking from their perspective, no... who does this?
If I'm sure I'm right about something I don't waste time listening to other peoples arguments, no, because I argue with them therefore I'm listening to them.
I believe that every question has two side and try to look at them both, wtf, what's your name? lol one answer.
When I'm upset at someone I put myself in his shoes... NO... I don't get upset at people.
Before criticising someone I try put myself in their place... No... I don't criticise people I criticise their actions. I do think of how they came to be like that.
I am an empathetic person... no.

Quite simply I think most of the questions are loaded. They don't make complete sense and to give the empathetic answer can be illogical. Being overly kind is annoying. I've been in situations where people have died and suddenly everyone is in your face trying to help and be kind. I understand why and they are only trying to help but by being "empathetic" they are failing other empathy questions. Suddenly someone you haven't seen in months or years wants to be your best friend, in your face when you want to be alone... it's considered rude to tell them to go away. They're not stopping to think about your actual feelings and more satisfying their own agenda to feel like a good person. I'm not even going to mention that many people just like to get involved for the gossip.

For me empathy is seeing a person in need and identifying IF you can help. If you can't it is pointing them in the right direction or leaving them alone so they can get on with the things they need to do. It is making sure you don't make things worse.

What kind of lunatic sits their wondering about their friends all day? All my friends are very similar to me so why the hell do I need to think about how they think? Quite simply we have arguments and debates and lengthy discussions about various issues and topics and there is no need to sit their and wonder, we all know where we stand.

This survey is fucked. It does not actually achieve anything. Who the fuck designed those questions, it's certainly too short to create anything of evidential value and misses out huge aspects of empathetic emotion.

Remember most of empathetic is pathetic.

Why didn't it ask questions about seeing others in pain?

Ha! I got 51.4

I'm not sure that I'd relate some of those qualities with empathy though - listening to others' point of view and such, I consider fair and reasonable, rather than empathetic.


If someone, say, got evicted from their property, I'd be more than willing to listen to and consider both sides of the story, but I wouldn't automatically feel for the person who got booted out, nor would I automatically side with the landlord, just because I listened to their side of things.


I don't really consider myself empathetic at all. Although that ties in with ASD.

ASD

Ageing sex disorder?

something like that... tho its not so much the sex that causes the aging disorder, but rather the products of it.

thanks fuck for work & school.

I can't remember the number that I got, but the result was that 90% of people are more empathetic than me.

Also ASD though, plus just plain callous.

41/70.

The only one I scored 5/5 for was when I see someone being taken advantage of I feel protective of them.

I can never truly know what other people are thinking and feeling. Even if they tell me, I will never know if they're lying or not.

ChelseaT wrote:I can never truly know what other people are thinking and feeling. Even if they tell me, I will never know if they're lying or not.

I don't think anyone can ever truly know. Especially not when other people themselves often aren't fully aware or accepting of their own feelings, iygwim.

I would imagine that to have absolute empathy, in the sense of full knowledge of everyone's thoughts and feelings, rather than just the face they choose to show or those that they choose to share, would be rather a burden.


These days I would say that we interact with more people over our lifetime than in the previous generation. People move around more rather than staying in one or two communities their lives, travel is easier, and the introduction of mobile technology and the internet, means more interactions with a larger range of people than say, our parents would have experienced.
Makes me wonder if the reduction in empathy that is perceived is on some level kind of a self-preservation thing.
With this generation simply having contact with and knowing so many more people, as well as increased exposure to the media and world events, is it reasonably possible to have the same amount of empathy for all these people and things?
I think it would be quite an emotional overload.

Sassydot wrote:

ChelseaT wrote:I can never truly know what other people are thinking and feeling. Even if they tell me, I will never know if they're lying or not.

I don't think anyone can ever truly know. Especially not when other people themselves often aren't fully aware or accepting of their own feelings, iygwim.

I would imagine that to have absolute empathy, in the sense of full knowledge of everyone's thoughts and feelings, rather than just the face they choose to show or those that they choose to share, would be rather a burden.


These days I would say that we interact with more people over our lifetime than in the previous generation. People move around more rather than staying in one or two communities their lives, travel is easier, and the introduction of mobile technology and the internet, means more interactions with a larger range of people than say, our parents would have experienced.
Makes me wonder if the reduction in empathy that is perceived is on some level kind of a self-preservation thing.
With this generation simply having contact with and knowing so many more people, as well as increased exposure to the media and world events, is it reasonably possible to have the same amount of empathy for all these people and things?
I think it would be quite an emotional overload.

I think if you compared the empathy of a person living in a town 300 years ago, where you're unlikely to ever travel more than 20-30km away from home, and probably know every single one of the 100 or so people in your village, compared to someone today who might travel tens of thousands of kilometres in their lifetime, who knows people in cities all over the world, and is able to interact with those people instantaneously, well then you'd get an absolutely meaningless result.

I got 28/70 LOL!

____ wrote:

I think if you compared the empathy of a person living in a town 300 years ago, where you're unlikely to ever travel more than 20-30km away from home, and probably know every single one of the 100 or so people in your village, compared to someone today who might travel tens of thousands of kilometres in their lifetime, who knows people in cities all over the world, and is able to interact with those people instantaneously, well then you'd get an absolutely meaningless result.

Pretty much, and even 30-40 years ago.
But that seems to be what that study is trying to do.

I don't think that its at all a case of "devaluation of others", or that the current generation is any more self-centered than previous ones.

I think we'd all be on some pretty heavy-duty antidepressants if we were to be as empathetic in the current generation as previous ones may have been perceived to have been. It would just be overwhelming.
Or maybe that's just me.

64.3%

I think I'm pretty empathetic. I'm kinda bipolar about it though... I'll vocally critise people or myself, but I am the first to step up and help if I can or extend support or get emotional about someones issues because I feel for them.

I'm such a girl.

ydekm wrote:64.3%

I think I'm pretty empathetic. I'm kinda bipolar about it though... I'll vocally critise people or myself, but I am the first to step up and help if I can or extend support or get emotional about someones issues because I feel for them.

I'm such a girl.

I can vouch for that. You and I are quite similar. I am empathetic towards someone who hasn't caused their own problems, but don't have much time for those who have.

Even if they have caused their own problems I am empathetic. Everyone fucks up now and again. It's people who dont take proactive measures after they've fucked up (or rinse and repeat the same fuck up all the time) that I get sick of.

You laugh at my misfortune all the time Rachel, you're a callous bitch:(

You also know I'd lend you a helping hand whenever I could foo'

True...But still.